Grief counselor/Nurse Practitioner: Marty Tousley gave The Examiner 5 signs that you and your pooch need some alone time. The following are the points as well as some selected life lessons from Tousley.

Sign 1: You only relate to your dog. Is it because I talk dog?

Sign 2: Your social life revolves around your dog. “You and your dog need time away from each other [...]allow your dog time with his canine friends too. ”

Sign 3: You believe you can’t live without your dog. “The very idea of him dying sends you in a tizzy.” When did not wanting to live without a dog equate to compulsive projection of hypochondria onto my canine?

Sign 4: You think about your pet to exclusion of other things. “These things include your health, hygiene and job” I always forget to shower when I’m with my dog.

Sign 5: Your relationships are damaged because of your dog. “Significant others fight with you constantly over your dog – or have left you alone over him”

Its funny though because we at OWMD would be extremely saddened if our dogs didn’t exhibit all five signs of an “unhealthy” love for us. Also, is it just us or did Marty simply replace “Dog” for “human” when she selectively attributed the signs of Dependent Personality Disorder to her article?